It’s a funny thing, time. No matter what you do, it just keeps moving. I’ve been trying to consciously be in every moment with you and mom, and I succeed more then I fail, but I do fail sometimes. There are days when the insanity of everyday life takes over and I find myself just trying to keep up. Those are the days when I seem to just slip into future projecting – “I can’t wait until after dinner when we can just sit down”. It’s ironic because it’s during those times that I’d benefit most from staying present.
You tend to bring me back to the present, or at least you try. Every time you ask me to play with you – whether it’s with superheroes, Legos, or cars – my heart warms and I remember to slow down. It won’t be like this forever, so I know that I need to stop and relish it. In fact, in the blink of an eye, you’ve gone from needing to be burped because you couldn’t do it on your own, to asking me why you needed to be burped when you were little. The other day, while watching you write and color, I almost lost it. How are you growing up so fast? Every morning when we go downstairs together, as tired as I find myself, I just want to freeze time for a bit and stay where we are because I know that before I know it, I’ll turn around and you’ll be asking to borrow the car keys…
I treasure every activity that we do together. From swimming, to skating, to playing with your toys. I know that your interests will change as you grow older, but just know that no matter what, I’ll be there by your side if you’ll have me there. If not, I’ll be there to support you in whatever you decide to do.
As I sit here thinking about how fast things have gone, I’m also in awe of the fact that our daily routine – which could have easily become a monotonous and tedious drag – is only a daily routine on its surface. If you look just below the façade of identical days you’ll find that we change things up quite a bit and we have a lot of fun doing it.
I guess what I’m getting at here is this: Soon, you’ll be rushing to be older (it’s natural, and we’ve all done it) and do things that you aren’t necessarily ready to do yet. You’ll want to experience things the way grownups do. Slow down. Enjoy every moment. Before you know it, that moment will be a distant memory and you’ll be wondering how it passed so quickly. You probably won’t listen. Nobody does. We’re always in a hurry to grow up when we’re young, and then we try to pump the brakes as we get older. It’s madness. Just know that when seemingly bad things happen, you need to take the lesson and move on. When seemingly good things happen, enjoy them to their fullest extent and then let them go. I only say seemingly good and bad things because things are just things – we bring them meaning. Happiness is a choice, and no matter what you do, time moves on whether you’re happy or not. Choose to be happy. Your mom does, and I’m getting better at it every day.