Awake at 3am

As I sit here at my desk writing, I’m painfully aware of a number of things.

First, I haven’t written in over 2 weeks. I know I promised myself that I was going to write every day, but work had to take precedent as of late. Plus, as amazing as it is to write about Jacob and being a dad, it’s of paramount importance to actually make sure we can feed him and also for me to actually be a dad. That’s what I’ve been consumed with. I haven’t Tweeted, or posted anything interesting on Facebook (I know, shocking! That must mean I haven’t existed for a couple of weeks!); I haven’t even had time to get up on stage and do comedy (I have, however, been writing quite a bit). Lately, I’ve actually felt like I don’t exist in the outside world, which is funny because to Jacob I’m half of his entire world (Cherise is the other half, in case you were wondering – I know, you’re not stupid! I just felt the need to clarify to make sure. Maybe that’s why I have very few close friends? I digress) Anyway, lately, it’s all been about work.

I’m not going to lie – the last couple of weeks have been hectic and a little stressful. I even spiraled into a sort of mini-depression (nothing serious, I just started only seeing the negative things in the world and around me, and it was impacting my mood, behavior and disposition) Thankfully, I have a fantastic support system in my angelic wife and my wonderful sister. It never hurts to spend some quality time with Jacob too. So, before you start worrying, know that I’m back to happy again and optimistic (it’s hard to be anything but optimistic with the family that I’m blessed with) – it’s just been a weird couple of weeks.

On top of my own personal crap, Jacob’s been waking up in the middle of the night – panicked and calling for Cherise. He frantically calls out to her until she comes to get him and then refuses to go back to sleep in his crib. A couple of times, he ended up in our bed and none of us slept. Ugh. (Before you start with the whole “don’t get him” speech, know this: we’ve let him cry it out before and he’s an excellent sleeper, so we figure this has to do with him either having nightmares or getting his final 4 molars) The other night, when I went to put him to bed he freaked out and started screaming for me – not the usual bedtime routine – until I got him. Then he put his head down on me and relaxed. I ended up rocking him to sleep – something I hadn’t done since he was just over a year old (that’s when we sleep-trained him). It felt really good to just sit there with him nuzzled into my shoulder. The sound of his breath is comforting and peaceful in a way that can’t be described (you’d really have to have experienced a child sleeping on you to have any idea what I’m talking about). In the moments that we sat there together, I couldn’t help but think about the pace of life right now and how we communicate with one another.

We’re hell-bent on instant gratification. We need it yesterday! And more of it. We Tweet and Post on whatever sites we’re on. We blog and send text messages. We post videos on YouTube. And we read, Retweet, Comment, Like and Watch in return.

It’s a vicious cycle that seems to suck the humanity right out of our interactions.

How many times have you found yourself hanging out with a friend who ISN’T glued to their smartphone? Go ahead, think about it. I’ll wait.

Any luck?

Me neither.

At the risk of sounding old, we’ve lost something in our social interactions. Don’t get me wrong – technology has made a lot of things better; it’s just also made things a little less human. At what point can we stop tweeting, posting and sharing what we’re doing, eating and wearing and just enjoy living these experiences?

Trust me – you matter. You’re important to someone. Whether you have 1,000,000 friends and followers or none, you have the same value as any other person. There’s a joke that goes: it’s not official until it’s on Facebook. If you read between the lines, this implies that it’s not official unless everyone knows about it. We all know this is a load of BS.

I guess I just started to think about how we measure success, and you know what? To me, if you’re a good person and you do good things and you enjoy your life, you’re successful. It’s as simple as that.

If we all just put down technology for a couple of hours and got outside and spent some distraction-free time with each other once in a while, we’d all feel a little more successful, to say nothing of the decrease in stress levels…

It’s amazing what a sleeping child can teach you isn’t it?

Thanks for reading!

Love,

Jacob’s Daddy

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