One of my sisters posted a link to an article on Facebook the other day. Along with the article link were her thoughts on it:
“This is the biggest load of shit I’ve ever read and this man should be neutered for writing it. Point finale.” Naturally, these strong words only made me curious, so I read it. (If you’re curious too and want to attempt to read the article, you can find it here, but I’ll sum it up in a second and that will save you the trouble. Up to you.)
In the article entitled “Why good girls have become unicorns” the author basically states that women don’t respect themselves, are promiscuous, and men are to blame. And so are women. And he’s a stud. And possibly a pedophile (Ok, maybe try and read the terrible thing).
He posits that any woman who has had multiple sexual partners is a slut that no guy (who has, in all likelihood, had more sexual partners himself) will want to settle down with. You can disagree with me if you want to, but the number of sexual partners a woman has doesn’t necessarily say any more about her character than the number of sexual partners a man has says about his character. We do have a double-standard, and he’s trying to point it out, but the irony is that he’s simply perpetuating the same beliefs that drive the ridiculous double-standard to begin with. The main point is that how many people someone has sexual relations with is their own choice and has nothing to do with who they are (in some cases, it does – if someone is acting out based on some kind of former abuse, then they need professional help, but either way, it’s not for anyone to judge)
Look, I’m aware of the fact that our society has become over-sexualized and many PEOPLE feel that the only way to find approval or popularity is to be promiscuous. I’m also aware that many PEOPLE don’t respect themselves. It’s sad. I’m highlighting PEOPLE because men and women are each affected by the phenomenon. Some women have no self-respect and will do anything to please men and seek approval and some men do the same. The only difference is that for a man to sleep with 50+ women, he’s considered a “stud” and he tells all of his friends (or anyone who’ll listen); if a woman does this she’s considered a whore or a slut and she tells nobody except her closest friends (at least that used to be the case – now it’s more socially accepted for women to talk about these things and they are acting more like men, so to speak, but “slut shaming” still runs rampant). Interestingly enough, the definition of “whore” is “a prostitute” or, someone who sells their body for sex. Look up “slut” and you’ll find “whore” amongst the definitions and both pertain to women (as a side note, if women are making money off of something that we both enjoy, then they are clearly smarter then we are).
So why doesn’t the term define men? Is it because most people wouldn’t pay a man for sex? No. We all know that male prostitutes exist (ever watch “Hung” on HBO? Me neither… Seriously. I just know it existed. We don’t have HBO)
So why do we, as a society, still consider women as dirty or inferior if they are sexually empowered? I’ll sum it up. Because once upon a time, women were considered property and it was improper for a man to have “damaged” property. Sound crazy? Well, it is. Why do we shame women who are sexually empowered? Because we are trying to control them. It’s a big steaming pile of BS.
“But Adam, it’s gross if a girl has slept with a lot of men.”
Yeah. And it’s also gross if a guy has slept with a lot of women. How do you think STD’s are passed around? They’re SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED – hence the name.
What I’m trying to say is that to me, if you’ve had so many sexual partners that you can’t remember their names, regardless of your gender it’s gross. My opinion. I’m also saying that if it’s deemed ok for men to have numerous sexual partners then it’s ok for women to do the same. Equality. That’s what I’m talking about.
Look, at the end of the day, we’re all searching for a connection. We all want to love and to be loved. Some of us just have to kiss a lot frogs along the way. Nobody should be judged for kissing frogs (you know what I mean).
In short, the author is an idiot, and my sister’s anger (and words) are correctly placed. He doesn’t necessarily deserve to be neutered, but if you happen to be a female, maybe consider not sleeping with him… Oh, and tell your friends.
Thanks for reading!